zaterdag 23 november 2013

How it started:

Master Secret and me 

I have a saying above my computer desk so I can look at it often:
Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
courage to change the things I can
and wisdom to know the difference

When I first saw his profile I found it there too, only his said: you must, instead of : grant me...

Master Secret came into my life at the moment I needed him most. I had a short experience with a would be Dom, who was friendly but didn’t have a clue what he was doing. He slapped some prim shibari ropes on me, and a collar, and we had 3 days of fun kinky sex... more or less... But I realized something was happening inside me, it wasn’t a game, and I was going to get hurt, as sweet as he was. I told him I needed to stop, he said ok, and unlocked my collar.

Oh the hole I fell into, how could the release of a play toy hurt and depress me so? I felt lost and almost desperate, knowing I was at some major turningpoint in my life, but with no idea of where to start...

I met Master Secret on a small house-party, I had never seen him before and his profile intrigued me.
After a little chitchat, he told me he has a dominant personality, and talking a bit more I felt strangely comforted by this man, who was firm in his beliefs, but did not once mention anything to do with sex, no innuendo even. What kind of Dom was this? I thought to myself...

And so started my journey into D/s.
Master Secret took me under his wing, showing me in a gentle and patient way what it was like to serve.
He made me remember his favorite poses, the things he liked and did not, and I felt strangely soothed by his dominating presence. Never harsh, strict yes, but the only tears I cried were the ones shed from overwhelming insights, and the first barriers he made me conquer. He pushed me to describe my feelings and test and explore my intuitive side.

And he sent me out into the sl world of D/s. Austin, VdO, Omega, Sweet Domination and a few more sims. Go and explore, but whatever you do, don't participate! is what he told me.
We talked about a collar. Don't see a collar as a goal, he said, it will distract you from what you need to learn, let your craving for a collar not get in the way...
We talked about it some more, and I asked him to collar me anyway, so I could honestly say I was owned, when men came onto me and need not lie. And he did, telling me he would never hold me to it, that it wouldn’t be fair to me, so new to D/s to be claimed straight away. The only restriction was on intimacy, again for my protection.
He made me read things, and tell him about what I learned later. He made me research, about the meaning of poses is bdsm for example. And mostly he helped me discover my real thoughts and feelings about D/s and my place in that.
He was ever only concerned about my welfare, even the intimate little scenes we played, very much vanilla, were more to relieve my tension, than for his pleasure, and when I said so, he would reply: my time will come, don't worry...
Only once I did a scene for his pleasure, he merely looked and guided a sweet girlfriend of mine and myself to loving and making love to each-other, while he watched. We talked in voice and watched the monitor “together” so to speak... besides being a gentle and capable mentor, he was a hottie too:)

He punished me once, although corrected may be a better term... I kept typing in wrong chat, and he made me pull my ear in rl.. hard!
I was so surprised to find that I actually did it, and to feel my chronic feelings of guilt lifted! I made a mistake, I payed, done, I could move on. Absolutely amazed I was, by the power of such a small disciplinary action.
And so several weeks past and I grew closer to Austin and the people there, explored the other places too, but when I told him I decided to apply for the training at Austin, he told me I did well, and was happy I found my place in things.
You will stay under my collar until the moment your training starts there, no sooner and no later. I will continue to keep an eye out for you. And again, I feel he said these things mainly because he knew I was fighting with feelings of disloyalty to him.
We talk every now and again, or I wave and send hugs and kisses, and ever smiling I get his responses.
It was strange, removing him as owner, but that is another story...

I have been very lucky I ran into this man, at such a vulnerable moment in my life, and I have been aware of that from day one.
A true Master
My lottery-ticket
The real deal
My friend and protector
All that and more for me, in three words:

Master Secret Genesis

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